My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
