Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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