A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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