I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize