She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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