Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
