Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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