maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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