Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
