My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize