Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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