so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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