So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
