...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
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He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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