you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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