I like to think it a success when the cops are called
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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