she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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