So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
