Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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