I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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