Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
