I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
