ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize