u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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