So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
