Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
