ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Two words: blizzard sex
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
