Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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