Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
