There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
