why didn't you poke me back
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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