I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
