we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
that's an acceptable place to lick
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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