i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
