who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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