Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
