seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
