Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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