I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just pee around me
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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