im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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