two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
