just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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