What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
