that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
