Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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