the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
