bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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