So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
