You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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