The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
