I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
