This is not my ceiling
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
