Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
