well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
