I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
